This Green One

Well I’m supposed to be writing my thesis right now but I’m bored so I decided to name my own Hawthorn super team. At first glance, you’ll notice that this team is not much like the official Hawks team of the century and there are also some names in there you might not expect to see in an all time most awesome Hawthorn football side.

Despite the fact that a lot of Hawthorners may disagree with my choices here, I stand by them and will explain my reasoning in this procrastinatory post.

The Greatest Hawthorn Side

One of the most obvious things you’ll notice about Team Hawsome is that it includes three of Hawthorns four brownlow medallists with the exception of Col Austen. Why? Because I don’t know who Col Austen is and he left Hawthorn twice. Once for being a spud and the other to play for Richmond. Actually that spud part I just made up.

Most Hawthorners would likely include Leigh Matthews in their own sides if they felt inclined to make them. The “problem” with my side though is that I’ve played him out of position. Leigh Matthews played most of his career at Hawthorn as a forward and is named in the official team of the century as a rover. I have him sitting on the flank. Pushing Lethal Leigh out wide serves two purposes: one, he simply doesn’t stand up to the names I have in my immediate forward line or the followers and two, he’ll be far out of reach of Neville Bruns and therefore less likely to get arrested.

I don’t think anyone would be overly surprised by my choice of backmen. The last line of defense in this lineup are some of the best to have ever played the game. I could say the same about the immediate forward line too. Some might complain that it is too early to include Buddy Franklin in such a side, but I disagree. He was the best and fairest in a premiership winning side and kicked 113 goals in the season. Buddy gets a spot in the forward pocket for Team Hawsome.

My center half forward and center half back are the two most inspirational players I have ever seen play the game. One could argue that neither are the most technically brilliant players to have donned the brown and gold but their influence was colossal. If you want to win flags, you play Dermie and you play Hodge.

On the half back flank I have Joel Smith playing semi out of position. It was a bit of a toss up between Joel Smith and Jonathan Hay for this one. Smith wins it because he had an extra all Australian appearance and he finished his career at the Hawks whereas Hay pissed off to North Melbourne.

Another odd name in my lineup here is Big Stu Dew. Why would I put a premiership winning Port Adelaide player in my all time greatest Hawthorn side? A couple of reasons come to mind. First, he is my token big unit in the side. Second, he single handedly delivered Hawthorn a premiership winning game in 2008 and was directly responsible for me having one of the most enjoyable days in my life on September 27 2008. Dew stays. I’ve put him on a forward flank where he can bomb goals from 60m out.

I have also named two ruckman. Three time flag winning Don Scott is starting with Salmon on the bench, even though Don Scott was a bit of a tool after we won the flag last year. Although Salmon was a dominant and consistent presence in his 5 years at a flailing Hawthorn, he started and finished his career at Essendon of all clubs so he gets to warm the bench when I’m coaching.

Lastly, I have also chosen to name Cyril Rioli while he is still in his infancy. This admittedly is a punt. He is only playing his second year, but if he’s ever played a bad game I haven’t seen it. This kid is electric and has an innate ability to lift the side. I also wanted to squeeze in a couple of run-and-carry Aborigines and looking over my side young Cyril here seems to be the quickest. I also briefly considered Changa Bateman for some added foot speed, but dismissed the idea in favour of the pack busting midfield of Jordan Lewis, Sam Mitchell and Brad Sewell.

Feel free to criticise and deconstruct, or better yet, name your own Team Hawsome.

Since I leave for London indefinitely quite soon now, I was anxious to try out Big Pond TV. This free service allows anyone to stream replays of AFL games, which in London might be the only real way I’m going to get to see any of Hawthorn’s games.

So I logged on and was immediately disappointed. First of all, I work on a Mac and Big Pond TV simply does not work in Safari at all. At least for me it doesn’t. After some futile attempts to get the damn thing working in Safari, I switched to Firefox.

Firefox is now a very popular browser and any idiot web developer should build their stuff to support it. I was able to at least get some video in Firefox, but as you can see from the screenshot below, it’s pretty sub-par.

This is how Big Pond TV looks in Firefox

Notice first how the video pushes off the right hand side of the page. Notice also how I wanted to watch the Collingwood vs. Hawthorn game but it inexplicably starts streaming the Melbourne vs. Geelong game. Also, the video screen comes over the top of the control buttons at the bottom of it, which don’t even work by the way. Pretty poor. The resolution of the footage is also very blurry and shiser.

Aside from what you see on the screenshot, it is riddled with other problems. At first they stream an advertisement before you get to see the game, which is understandable and fine but sometimes the ad will just endlessly cycle. I had to refresh the page a couple of times because instead of football I kept getting the same Commonwealth Bank ad over and over again. When the thing finally came on it was the wrong game!

Having said that I do think this is a good idea. I’d love to watch the Hawks through this thing over in London so I really do hope they get it fixed soon in case the Hawks actually make the finals.

Well, in hindsight it was probably all over well before tonights pathetic loss to West Coast. At a record of 6-7 it is going to be difficult for the reigning premiers to sneak in to the top eight.

There is only 9 games left and Hawthorn will need a good 6 wins from those 9 considering their poor percentage. Unfortunately, those 9 games include games against the unbeaten Geelong and St Kilda as well as The Bulldogs, Collingwood, Essendon and a trip to Adelaide to face Port. It is unlikely the Hawks will win any of those games going on this seasons form.

Might be time to start tanking, Hawthorn. It’s a pity they’ve already notched 6 wins. A sincerely disappointing season. I’m glad I wasn’t one of the 52,000 odd chumps who went out an bought a membership.